trouble

I just received the worst news I could get right now. Why now? Why not a week ago, don't get me wrong I wish it hadn't happened but here it is growing in my stomach. I have no idea what to do or who to tell if I should tell anyone at this moment. I feel suffocated, like the walls are pushing down on me. I don't dare tell Ryan yet for fear he'll tell me I'm lying as so many others have when I've given them bad news. I couldn't handle that rejection plus he needs not know till I'm certain my body can handle it. I'm drowning and I don't know how to save myself but I need to for my baby

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