WTH?

I'm a weak, breakable person. i used to joke to friends that i can handle anything that im not "breakable" but i am. I brake so easy it's not funny. sometimes i wonder if i should write a book about my life. plenty of screwed up shit in it i'm sure it'd sell. i just dont know what to do about all this shit in my life right now. maybe i'll just be done with guys, maybe its time to move on to a girl for awhile. i'm tired of guys screwing me over. i,m not sure what im going to do now. im just so sad from the things that have happened that last few weeks. i kind of wish Ryan could just grow up, get a job and learn to talk to me so i could take him back. i want him back i just wont be that weak. i wont take him back until things change. im sick of demanding change but taking him back hoping he will change. things dont work like that for me. I love Ryan so much but im just ready to move on. im ready for the next person to get my mind off of things